singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
