I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
