He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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