I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
