Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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