WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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