i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
