i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
