Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
