ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I wish you could order shots online.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
