I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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