Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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