Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
