god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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