so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
