wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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