he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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