I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
