i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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