omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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