oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
