i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize