I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
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