Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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