are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
