we have officially lost it.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize