one word: firstdatebathroomanal
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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