Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
