Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
