I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
