I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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