the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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