Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!