you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
