"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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