she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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