Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
