You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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