My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We had to coat check the pizza.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
