just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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