The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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