i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
