3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I need to align my fucking chakras
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize