oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I had to cum in my sink.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
