I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Randomize