Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
you never un-have a 4some
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
