Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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