My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
