Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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