I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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