I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I am mentally ready for anal.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
