i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
