We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
