That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
