She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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